Hellooo there, from the mountains of Boston!
I’ve always been very averse to goal-setting. The very term conjured up, for me, ra-ra motivational speakers whose teeth were so white, they had me reaching for sunglasses. When people asked me where I saw myself in 1 or 3 or 5 years, I would answer honestly that I had no idea. And you know what? That’s the truth for all of us – we really don’t know.
On the other hand, I was a control-freak, micro-managing the crap out of my daily life and relationships, and spending a great deal of time worrying about the future. I often had a vague uneasiness that I was drifting, relying too much on hope, and unsure that the daily action I took was right action, for me.
It was only when a mentor, Ann Wilson, clarified for me that goals are indeed unimportant, but the process of setting goals is invaluable, that I was able to use the dreaded “goal-setting” process to my advantage. I found the process gave me huge relief, comfort and direction, and it actually freed up energy for me to live my best life right now. It soothed my security and structure thirsty Taurus nature. As Eisenhower said, “Plans are nothing, but planning is everything”, and let’s face it, he got it right at the Battle of the Bulge, among others.
So now, today, as I sit here at my desk, on a working farm, surrounded by pristine natural forest, waterfalls, rivers and mountains, in a home that leaves my dream home version in the dust, I cannot help but wonder how I got here? And all in the blink of an eye, if one doesn’t count the years of forgiving, clearing and goal setting that gently, and not so gently, refined my dream.
Here’s the thing – I will never know “how”. I’m just figuring out that the “hows” are completely irrelevant – always have been, always will be. All that’s asked of any of us is to take the next baby step in front of us, to release and forgive the past, and to love ourselves to distraction. The “hows” are not up to us to figure out.
Please don’t take this as a proclamation of my having reached the pinnacle of manifesting mastery… I am simply a manifesting master in training, as are we all… just ask my nearest and dearest, who witness my railings against the universe when things don’t go my way.
And no, I’m not “healed” or “fixed” now…I will undoubtedly be a control freak until they pry my cold, dead fingers from my paint brushes and keyboard. But my goal is to be a kinder version of myself every day, realising there is nothing about me that is “broken”, and I’m seeing exciting evidence of that kindness more and more.
By beginning to treat manifesting what I desire as a process, a series of baby steps, and not as a single act of sheer force of will, I’m letting the fun back in, and that has resulted in miracles. My version of the steps to achieving my dreams are not unique, new or even complete, but they are a start in a conversation we all need to be having more of…
The First Step
Acknowledging and accepting where we are right now is step one.
We can’t move forward or change until we get real about the truth of NOW.
Step One in the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous is, by no co-incidence, where we admit we are powerless over … (fill in the blank), and that our lives have become unmanageable with our egos in the driver’s seat. This is the starting point.
This is surrender. The New Moon. The Dark Night of the Soul. The ultimate release. This is death and rebirth. This is Scorpio in the Zodiac. And we’re right smack bang in the middle of Scorpio now.
As an artist, this, for me, is stretching and preparing the new, blank canvas. It’s a point of pure potential… terrifying and liberating stuff.
In acknowledging where we are, we must be also become prepared to forgive the past. Because it is the past that brought us to this point. But so often we allow past failures to dictate where we set our limits now, and we unconsciously shame ourselves into believing our past determines our potential.
I have found that a simple forgiveness ritual, using fire, water or any of the elements, or a tool such as tapping (EFT), clears out the debris of past “failures” and helps me see why I may be holding myself back. We are usually reliving the past or rehearsing the future at any given moment. This is where stress exists. It never exists in the present moment.
Self-sabotage is actually a dysfunctional form of self-care and protection. It is our limbic brain stepping in to prevent a repeat of past humiliation or trauma. Its that little voice that whispers, “Don’t try… you may fail.”
If I were to begin a new painting while still smarting over the last one not working out as I wanted, I would be setting myself up for failure. And, if I were to leave the old painting in view while I began the new painting, it would serve to remind me only that I could, and probably would, fail again.
Forgiveness is the foundation of manifesting our dreams. We have to clear the wreckage and shame of the past before we can plot a course into the future. Who do you need to forgive? What do you need to forgive? What could set you free to believe you can create your dreams, if it were erased from your subconscious? Sometimes, it’s as simple as reciting Ho’oponopono while holding the person, situation or yourself in mind as you say, with infinite loving kindness, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you”. What if you could just let it go? Just… Let… It …Go… ? This isn’t about condoning abusive behaviour, it’s about freeing ourselves from reliving it.
I’ll leave you with a thought from the great Louise Hay that has stayed with me always. Whether you are holding yourself, another or a situation responsible for your happiness, ask yourself… would you you rather be right, or would you rather be happy? It really is that simple – not that easy, but truly that simple.
I’ll be delving into three more steps that I use for manifesting my dreams over the course of the following weeks, my fellow manifesting masters in training… so if you’d like to subscribe to my blog, you can do so here.
’Til next time, much love xxx