September and October really feel like they’ve been a time of endings. I said goodbye to my 10 year old staffie, I gave up on controlling the Zimbabwe economic and political situation (yeah, I can hear the raucous laughter in my head!), my partner finished his stint on an alpaca farm, and we’re in the process of saying goodbye to Hillcrest as we move to Boston, in the Natal Midlands.
As an astrologer, I remember noting, at the beginning of 2017, that September would mark both an ending and a new beginning of mammoth proportions. It’s because of this kind of accuracy that I love astrology. And I’m wondering if you, dear reader, are feeling that too? Stuff’s ending… sometimes tragically, always uncomfortably… but there’s new life pushing forth at the same time?
What is it about death that makes us so uncomfortable, so clueless in the presence of its awesome power? It happens to all of us, not only when we actually shuffle off the mortal coil, but everyday as we experience death and change in all its various forms. Every. Single. Day. So what’s the deal? Why is it still so alarming, uncomfortable, frightening? Why aren’t we used to it by now? Gurus and teachers have told us over the centuries that change is the only thing we can truly rely upon. We experience exactly that. Yet, we continue to deny it, resist it, fight against it, judge it and fear it. Industries vye for our attention and money, as they “promise” ways to prevent or manage the effects of change – insurance companies, banks, financial institutions and medical aid companies. Their marketing plans rely upon our absolutely horror of change and death.
I began writing, after 6 years of wanting to do so, because of an opportunity to promote a cause I believe in – financial intelligence for all people. I began my blog based on promoting Ann Wilson’s Financial Freedom University for one reason – the course undeniably changed my life and reality for the better. I’ve always wanted to write, but it seems I needed a “real” reason to start. I needed the gravitas of FFU behind me to take the first step. But, guess what? That’s now come to an end and enrolment for FFU has closed. So another ending. And I find myself here… realising it’s all up to me to bring in the new beginning… to continue the momentum. To take the next step.
A spiritual mentor, just this week, reminded me that the only reason to write was because it brought me joy and lifted my energy. That’s it. Nothing else matters. Not the likes on Facebook or percentage increase in subscribers, not the money I may ever make from it or whether it is what I am supposed to be doing with my life. And I realise that’s the only good reason to take the next step in the face of uncontrollable change and chaos… because we want to. Because we cannot deny we want to. And if we don’t want to, if don’t feel that inner “yes”, then that’s not the step to take, not yet anyway. Change direction, take a nap… whatever it takes to get you focussed on following the joy again.
Endings and new beginnings are a package deal. These situations require immense courage from us as they cause us to come face to face with grief, sadness, hopelessness and despair, as well as all the other sides of these coins. These are the emotions that refine us, declutter our psyches and souls, and make us just a little more of the incredible beings we are. In our grief, in our sense of loss, may we all find that spark, that joy that makes us want to go on and take the next step.
I held a Facebook sale on the originals I had, in the spirit of endings and beginnings, and I was overwhelmed by the support, shares and responses. Thank you all so much. Just one painting remains to find it’s forever home, and that’s “Power of Three”. The reference photo was taken many years ago at a horse show in Dargle, Natal Midlands, by my partner, Warwick Locke. I cannot remember where the horses came from, but it was an appaloosa set up in the Midlands somewhere… I would love any hints from readers on where it could have been. They were incredibly beautiful horses, and I’m so glad I got to paint them. If you’re interested in “Power of Three”, it’s an original oil on canvas, R3,000, 70cm x 70cm x 4cm, stretched on canvas.
As always, please subscribe to my blog below, if you’d like to hear more from me… and here’s to new beginnings.
Till next time, much love xxx